It’s astonishing to us how many kids have never asked themselves what it is they want, or have never had someone ask it of them. They’re too busy either trying to please others, or rebelling against others’ control. But they need to think for themselves about themselves. They need to consider their special talents and life purpose. They should ask, “What do I want? What do I love to do?” You can help them ask these questions, even if you can’t supply the answers. Hard as it may be to accept this, it’s your child’s responsibility to find interests and motivation in life.” [William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Viking, 2018, p. 126]
– List 5 things you’re interested in that you would enjoy studying or working on (e.g. inspiring people, events, fields of knowledge, current issues, etc.).
– List 5 skills or areas of expertise you would want to have.
– List 5 things you’re good at, anything from subjects in school to general character strengths.
– List 5 qualities about yourself that you would like to improve.
– List 5 challenges, difficulties, or problems you currently face.
It’s okay if you can’t come up with five topics per category; make each one meaningful to you.
Note that these aren’t questions you answer once and for all. When choosing a direction for your studies, there’s no such thing as a perfect or final choice, you can always change (or add) directions, and doing so is never a bad thing as long as you’re learning. Addressing these questions should be a regular part of your lifelong education. Always be open to new interests and urgent topics that deserve your attention.
If you’re an adult guiding a young person through this exercise, you can make your own lists to compare and discuss:
– With your understanding of this particular young person, what things do you think they would be interested in and would enjoy working on?
– What skills or expertise would you want them to have?
– What strengths have you observed in them?
– What qualities would you like to see them improve?
– What challenges or difficulties are they struggling with?
Experimenting with Books
Review the topics you’ve listed with your tutor. Discuss which you think are the most important or valuable—which would be the best use of your time.
Choose the most promising one and research a book on that topic.
Make a list of all the interesting books you find. (Maintain this Book List as part of your Knowledge Management System). Choose your favorite book and buy it.
Note how much time and effort you spent looking. Have your tutor (or someone whose judgment you trust) buy you a book on the same topic, and ask them how long they spent looking.
This is an exercise to get you thinking about and pursuing valuable areas of study, but it’s also an experiment to juxtapose your learning choices and those of others on your behalf. How do you feel about reading “your” book compared to “their” book? How did you go about making your choice, and how did they? Who put more effort into their search? After reading both books, which did you prefer and why? Did the different choices complement each other? Was the book chosen for you less relevant to your interests, or did it spark an interest you didn’t know you had? (Also relevant to these questions is the discussion material: How capable are young people of directing their education? Who should decide what they learn?)
If you found this experiment helpful, repeat it with other important topics from your lists.
Related:
– Why do the questions of education, and a purposeful life, demand individual attention?
Footnotes: