How does a teacher aid discovery and elicit the activity of the student’s mind? By inviting and entertaining questions, by encouraging and sustaining inquiry, by supervising helpfully a wide variety of exercises and drills, by leading discussions, by giving examinations that arouse constructive responses … [Mortimer J. Adler, The Paideia Proposal: An Educational Manifesto, 1982, Touchstone / Simon & Schuster, 1998, p. 50]
Left to his own devices, the learner would not get very far unless he asked himself questions, perceived problems to be solved, suffered puzzlement over dilemmas, put himself under the necessity of following out the implications of this hypothesis or that, made observations and weighed the evidence for alternative hypotheses, and so on. The teachers, aware of these indispensable steps in the process by which he himself has moved his own mind up the ladder of learning, devises ways to help another individual engage in a similar process; and he applies them with sensitivity to the state of that other person’s mind and with awareness of whatever special difficulties the other must overcome in order to make headway. [Mortimer J. Adler, Reforming Education: The Opening of the American Mind, Macmillan, 1988, p. 170]
No one can act or learn for another. The do-er must do the work himself. The task, the choice, the purpose must be his. But a t-eacher may be able to help in many ways. …
He breaks down the large task so that whatever he may ask the student to do, the student, with effort, will be able to do, and from doing it will get greater powers, with which to do the next task. He gives a model, shows what is to be done. He may say something that will make it easier for the student to know and do what is to be done. He gives feedback, makes the student see and feel what in fact he did. He makes a correction, shows the student the difference between what he did and what he was supposed to do, and shows how to close that difference. Most important, by doing this, he tries to give the student (or help him make for himself) standards, criteria, a heightened awareness, a model in his own mind/body, from which he will in time get his own instructions, feedback, and correction. Thus, as he sharpens the student’s movements, he sharpens the criteria by which the student will later judge and correct his own movements. The true master does not want to make the student into a slave or puppet, but into a new master. He is not a behavior modifier. He does not move the student by imperceptible steps toward an end which only he, the master, can see. He seeks instead to give the student greater control of his own behavior, so that he may move himself toward his own ends … [John Holt, Instead of Education: Ways to Help People Do Things Better, 1976, Sentient, 2004, pp. 57-58]
Sometimes in guiding, skill is not involved, only taste. If one person asks another to suggest a good book to read, piece of music to listen to, or movie or play to see, the other will say, “What sort of stuff do you like?” … In short, when a teacher wants to help a student explore some piece of reality, whether geographic, athletic, artistic, or intellectual, he must begin by finding out where the student is now. …
This is the only legitimate use of tests—to find out where a student is, so that the t-eacher may better order his tasks, or help him explore. [John Holt, Instead of Education: Ways to Help People Do Things Better, 1976, Sentient, 2004, p. 80]
One of the central features of being autonomy supportive is providing choice, which entails sharing the authority or power of your one-up position. …
When choice is offered, of course, it is essential that the person being offered choice have the information necessary for making a meaningful decision. … To experience a sense of choice, you need to know (or be able to find out) the possibilities, the constraints, the hidden features. Without such information, being given a choice will feel more like a burden than a support for autonomy. It may well engender anxiety, and without adequate information, people are more likely to make mistakes. [Edward L. Deci with Richard Flaste, Why We Do What We Do: Understanding Self-Motivation, Penguin, 1996, pp. 144, 36]
[W]hen we say we want children and teens to make their own decisions as much as possible, what we really want is for them to make informed decisions. It’s our responsibility as parents to give the information and the perspective that we have—and that they lack—in order to enable them to make the best possible choices. Once properly informed, kids usually do make good decisions for themselves—and their decisions are almost always as good as or better than our own. [William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Viking, 2018, p. 55]
Because it’s impossible to make a truly resistant kid practice, and because chronically fighting about anything is not healthy for families, we recommend taking the same approach that we recommend for homework: consult, but don’t force.
Explain to your child how important music is to you and your family. Let him know that for many people, it brings great happiness and satisfaction. Tell him that although it’s a lot of work, it’s worth it if you learn to play. Tell him you want him to be able to play, that you’re willing to pay for lessons as long as his teacher says he’s practicing enough, and that you’re willing to help in any way you can to make practicing an enjoyable experience. But as with homework, also tell him that you’re not willing to fight with him about practicing because you love him and don’t want a constant hassle at home—and you don’t want to ruin music for him by making it nothing but a chore. If the child starts lessons, offer to help him develop a practice schedule. Tell him that you’re willing to sit with him during practice time and that if he wants to practice but just can’t make himself do it, you’ll offer a little incentive. [William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Viking, 2018, pp. 43-44]
Virtually everyone who has written about the psychology of success agrees that setting goals is fundamental. Both of us have used goal-setting and visualization strategies to develop our businesses, and we urge you to teach your kids to do this from a young age. For some, writing a simple list of goals works well. For others, it is much more effective to have a visual picture of their goals to refer to. [William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Viking, 2018, p. 223]
By envisioning alternative futures and creating backup plans, kids (and their parents) learn that if Plan A doesn’t work, the world won’t come to an end. … Over time, practicing Plan B thinking will give you confidence that you can handle stress and setbacks. …
For some, Plan B thinking may include considering radically different routes to success. Hearing stories about those who have developed meaningful, happy lives by following different paths is one of the greatest sources of perspective-giving solace we can offer … [J]ust knowing that alternative happy endings are out there and widening the frame a bit can go a long way toward alleviating stress. [William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives, Viking, 2018, pp. 231-232]
What a teacher can do—all a teacher can do—is work with students to create a classroom culture, a climate, a curriculum that will nourish and sustain the fundamental inclinations that everyone starts out with: to make sense of oneself and the world, to become increasingly competent at tasks that are regarded as consequential, to connect with (and express oneself to) other people. Motivation—at least intrinsic motivation—is something to be supported, or if necessary revived. It’s not something we can instill in students by acting on them in a certain way. You can tap their motivation, in other words, but you can’t “motivate them.” And if you think this distinction is merely semantic, then I’m afraid we disagree. [Alfie Kohn, Feel-Bad Education: And Other Contrarian Essays on Children and Schooling, Beacon, 2011, pp. 87-88]
[A] young man should not just be told that he is capable of more than he thinks he can do, but rather a set of circumstances must be devised in which he demonstrates such competence to himself. [Francis J. Kelly and Daniel J. Baer, 1969] quoted by [Robert Epstein, Teen 2.0: Saving Our Children and Families From The Torment of Adolescence, Quill Driver, 2010, pp. 106-107]
It would be better if you could regard your job … not as the instructor who organizes the learning that students are supposed to do but as the guide who makes what we would like students to learn interesting, comprehensible, and accessible. [Frank Smith, The Book of Learning and Forgetting, Teachers College Press, 1998, p. 80]
[T]he mentor mindset, is to have high standards plus high support. Upholding high standards can help maintain order and prevent the feared descent into chaos. Simultaneously, the high levels of support convey how much we care for young people. By taking young people seriously and giving them the support they need to earn impressive reputations, we give them a route to status and respect. They get to earn prestige, which they need far more than a self-esteem puff-up. …
[T]o say that the young want respect is to say that they want to be admired by people whose opinions they care about. They obtain this admiration by showing their skills to other members of the group. …
An effective mentor creates opportunities for young people to learn about, and begin to acquire, what counts for status in a valued social group. … Mentors don’t take over and do things for young people, like the protector. Nor do mentors uphold impossible standards so that few are successful, like the enforcer. Instead, they find ways for young people to earn respectworthy reputations. [David Yeager, 10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People, Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster, 2024, pp. 64,75]
Children, like grown-ups, enjoy the sense of achievement derived from mastering a difficulty, but this requires a consistency of effort of which few are capable without some outside encouragement. The capacity for consistent self-direction is one of the most valuable that a human being can possess. It is practically unknown in young children, and is never developed either by a very rigid discipline or by complete freedom. Very rigid discipline, such as that of soldiers in war-time, makes a man incapable of acting without the goad of external command. On the other hand, complete freedom throughout childhood does not teach him to resist the solicitations of a momentary impulse: he does not acquire the capacity of concentrating upon one matter when he is interested in another, or of resisting pleasures because they will cause fatigue that will interfere with subsequent work. The strengthening of the will demands, therefore, a somewhat subtle mixture of freedom and discipline, and is destroyed by an excess of either. [Bertrand Russell, Education and the Social Order, 1932, Routledge Classics, 2009, p. 23]
There is no ground for holding that the teacher should not suggest anything to the child until he has consciously expressed a want in that direction. A sympathetic teacher is quite likely to know more clearly than the child himself what his own instincts are and mean. But the suggestion must fit in with the dominant mode of growth in the child; it must serve simply as stimulus to bring forth more adequately what the child is already blindly striving to do. Only by watching the child and seeing the attitude that he assumes toward suggestions can we tell whether they are operating as factors in furthering the child’s growth, or whether they are external, arbitrary impositions interfering with normal growth. …
Nothing is more absurd than to suppose that there is no middle term between leaving a child to his own unguided fancies and likes or controlling his activities by a formal succession of dictated directions. As just intimated, it is the teacher’s business to know what powers are striving for utterance at a given period in the child’s development, and what sorts of activity will bring these to helpful expression, in order then to supply the requisite stimuli and needed materials. [John Dewey, The School and Society, 1899, U of Chicago P, 1932, p. 125, https://archive.org/details/schoolsociety00dewerich]
I am entirely confident in asserting that the urgent project for parents today, in this world of increasing economic, cultural, and social uncertainty, is to help their children gain a wholesome sense of direction that will carry them through the minefields of drift, confusion, apathy, anxiety, fear, and self-absorption that threaten their generation. I am also convinced that the key to this sense of direction is finding a life purpose. …
What a parent should do is lead a child toward promising options. A parent can help a child sort through choices and reflect upon how the child’s talents and interests match up with the world’s opportunities and needs. A parent can support a child’s own efforts to explore purposeful directions, and open up more potential sources of discovery about possible purposes. These are supporting roles rather than leading ones, because center stage in this drama belongs to the child. But while the most effective assistance parents can provide is indirect, it is also invaluable. [William Damon, The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life, Free Press, 2008, pp. 130-131]
Every time we turn away from our child’s interests, dismiss them, or denigrate them, we lessen our child’s capacity for enthusiasm and lessen the connection between us. …
[W]hat is likely to be valued in that future can be hard to predict. [Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success, HarperCollins, 2012, p. 197]
Parents should listen with interest to all the new ideas their children bring home, exploring whatever possibilities for developing the ideas child and parent can imagine together. …
[T]o be effective, parents should make sure that these conversations are two- or three-way (or many-way) dialogues, rather than simply adult-driven monologues. During such conversations parents must learn to be good listeners and, what’s more, good interviewers, probing children to elaborate their views, frequently asking the Why question, and encouraging them to think more deeply about the things they find noteworthy and interesting. When we evoke from children their own nascent ideas about what they find meaningful, we become better able to hear their first murmurs of purpose; and in this way we provide the nurturing conditions for further exploration. [William Damon, The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life, Free Press, 2008, pp. 139-141]
[F]rom our extensive studies of where a sense of purpose in life comes from in young people, let us summarize the set of factors that we have identified as crucial. …
Listen closely for the spark, then fan the flames. Take advantage of regular opportunities to open a dialogue. Be open-minded and supportive of the sparks of interest expressed. Convey your own sense of purpose and the meaning you derive from your work. Impart wisdom about the practicalities in life. Introduce children to potential mentors. Encourage an entrepreneurial attitude. Nurture a positive outlook. Instill in children a feeling of agency, linked to responsibility. [William Damon, The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life, Free Press, 2008, pp. 158-159]
Related:
– What is motivation? How can we cultivate it in ourselves and others?
– How can parents improve their influence on their children?
– What do we teach via our character and the environments we create?
– How capable are young people of directing their education? Who should decide what they learn?